On Blockages
There’s a lot of talk about detachment in spiritual practices, including recovery programs, and I think I’ve figured out another layer of why detachment is advisable.
The reason we want to hold onto the people, places, and things in our lives loosely, rather than with an ironclad grip, is because often they are the very things that are holding us back.
When we come from stress or trauma, we can end up like little barnacles: very attached to the people, places, or things that maybe one time, once, pretty long ago, sort of, just a little bit made us feel good or safe or wanted… even if that hasn’t been true for many days since. Trauma breeds loyalty, which is why certain systems traumatize their disciples to get them fully indoctrinated (cough, cough, military training, cough, cough, medical school).
But if we are more loyal to others, to a place or environment, to a thing (like drugs or money or stuff) than we are to ourselves… well, that’s usually when we got problems. Our safety, our feeling of Good (or God), our well being exists outside of ourselves and can then therefore leave us, which is NO. BUENO.
There are some people, places, and things that are just BAD for us. Not only that, they are usually preventing our growth. This is often because other people, places, or things cannot grow themselves, but that doesn’t mean that should stop us from reaching our full potential.
Am I saying it makes sense to cut yourself off from anyone who disagrees with you? No, definitely not. Am I suggesting that we move every six months to try and find our true home? No, not that either.
Deep down, we all can feel a spiritual blockage when we have one in our lives. It’s the job we hate but struggle to leave. It’s the “partner” who overreacts and blames us for everything while refusing to go to therapy themselves. It’s the habit (like junk food or vaping or drinking too much) that we know is problematic but we just can’t seem to kick.
Barnacled.
These are all tests of faith on the spiritual journey. We’re reluctant to leave such things behind because we don’t know if something better will come along, forgetting that the act of choosing to leave inherently increases the odds that we will come across better. Choosing ourselves is an act of faith, of resilience, of building character and strength, of improving that internal voice that is saying to us it’s okay, we got this, we are going to be all right, we are destined for more.
How can we be destined for more if we always opt for less?
Some of you may be asking yourselves, Well, can I keep everything the same and still be a spiritual person? Yes, of course. We all learn a great deal from practicing faith while enduring BLEEPY situations. I also tend to believe our faith REALLY gets tested when things get going Good.
Regardless of the circumstances, if we stick with testing out faith little by little, eventually it will become strong enough that we will start to see the very person, place, or thing that we barnacled ourselves actually makes us feel like we are drowning. It is holding us back, rather than keeping us safe.
When that happens, fear not! Believing in Good (or God) brings certain things to light when we are strong enough to see them; we cultivate faith with lots of reps, just like going to the gym. That’s when we know we have started to internalize the solution. Our own choices, actions, deeds, and faith become the compass for our own lives, rather than being stuck to someone else’s hull. Over time, faith, God, or Good starts to live within us, which is when detachment starts to be an option.